Emmanuel

Emmanuel. God with us.

Most of my life, I did not think God saw me. Which is strange. Considering my history.

I grew up in a Christian household. In the church. Went to a Christian elementary school. Asked Jesus in my heart when I was seven. Decided suddenly and insistently to be baptized at a church beach baptism. Grew up in youth groups and Bible studies. Joined a Christian sorority in college. Married a man whose call was to be a pastor. And through it all, loved Jesus. With my whole heart.

But at some point. In the middle of those thirty-something-pastor’s-wife-years. It hit me. Sitting in church. Listening to a sermon on the five things you could trust about God’s character. Number two. “God sees you.” I responded so emphatically in my head. “No He doesn’t.”

And this shocked me. Where did this come from. Buried down so deep in my soul. The idea that God did not see me. I wrestled with it. For a very long time. Before I talked to my husband about it. Then a close friend. Never quite understanding. Knowing. Where this idea I was so suddenly sure about. Where it had come from.

Years later. I was to find out. My oh-so-set belief that God did not see me. Came from a more deep-seeded belief. God was not with me.

And the bottom line was: I was. Am. Alone.

Without going more into the whys and hows and wheres this belief came from. I have been on a journey. A wilderness journey. Learning. Understanding. And now knowing. With as much certainly as the sun rising every morning. That God is with me. Was with me. Sees me and has always and will always see me.

So this word. This name. Emmanuel. God with us.

The Creator. The King. Who came in the dark of night. To be our light. Our salvation. Our freedom. Our hope. Our peace.

Not just for those times we do see Him. When we know He is there. In the joyful times. The prosperous times. When we are hopeful and strong and knowingly walk in grace, wrapped in His love.

No. It is for those dark times. When we can’t see Him. Or feel Him. Or anything for that matter. In the painful. The horrific. The struggle. The fight.

It is during these times. Emmanuel. God with us. Wrapping us in His love and grace and peace. Even if we don’t see Him. Even if we don’t feel Him. He sees us. He is with us.

So if you are like me. Like I was. And don’t believe. Can’t believe. He is there. And He sees. Especially. Now. During this season. Please trust me. From someone who was there. He does see YOU. He is with YOU. He is Emmanuel.

So. Emmanuel! Come to us, Lord! Come into our darkness. Into our joy. Into our pain. Into our peace.

Emmanuel! God is with us. Come!